Well, there's nothing we can do about that

Yesterday I got to pick up Vash from daycare. 

Yay!

Except for he was tired and didn't seem all that thrilled to see me.

Boo.

Since we're back on standard time, it was getting dark already, and as I was carrying him out to the car another mom was walking to her car with her toddler.  He was upset about something.

I heard the mom explain, "when the sun goes down then the moon comes up."

Turns out her son was upset that the sun went away.
"But I don't want the sun to go down! I want the sun up!"

"Well, there's nothing we can do about that."

Ain't that the truth.

Sometimes, no matter how much we want something to be different than it is, there's just nothing we can do about that.

It's as simple as that.

This Boy is 6 Months Old!

This. Boy.  He melts my heart on a consistent basis.  He is such a chill dude and we love him!

We went to the ever-popular Foto Fly to get his 6 month pictures taken last week.  Let me tell you, there is a reason they are popular!  We had a really great experience and I will definitely be going back.  Just check out the pictures!  Trying to figure out which one(s) to print and hang at home and take to work is nearly impossible.

At 6 months this kid is:
Sitting up like a champ.
Babbling.  I'm fond of the "ma, ma" sound myself. :)  However "ba, ba" is very cute as well.
Finally sleeping in his crib in his own room.
Sleeping through the night, most nights.
Through his first month at daycare and seems to like it.
Just getting started on solid foods.  So far only applesauce and he seems to like it.
Rolls over from tummy to back and back to tummy.
Can rotate on his belly 360 degrees.
Pushes up with his arms and gets his belly off the ground.
Just about out-grown his size 2 diapers.
Likes to chew on cloth.
Loving his diaper changes still.  (We're pretty sure he'll be the toddler who runs around naked)
Wearing anywhere from size 3-9 months clothes.  9 month pajamas for sure, some 3 month onesies and then a bunch of 6 month pants and shirts.
Starting to get an attachment to his blanket.

He occasionally will push up to his hands and knees for a second, and sometimes that makes him scoot backwards.  So he's slowly become more mobile and figuring all that out.  He's so much fun to have around.

Baby's First Road Trip!

So we'll just pretend like all the posts I've imagined in my head have actually been published and move on.  Sound good?

To sum up, my baby is now 4 (and a half on Tuesday!) months old.  He is seriously the thing our world revolves around.  And not just because he is still 100% dependent on us for his survival. :)  He is starting to giggle, he has rolled over several times from tummy to back and is getting so close to going the other way.

Moving on.

We took our first road trip last week!  To none other than the Happiest Place on Earth!

We weren't sure how it was going to go with the baby.  Vash seems to have a love/hate relationship with the car and his car seat.  Remy was more nervous about it than I was.  -Not that I was so confident it would be easy or anything.  I think it turned out about as I expected.  He really was a trooper and usually only had one semi-fussy segment each way. 

Loading up the car!

Our little driver.

And NO the car wasn't on!  Geez!  We had to pull off at Mona for our first feeding.

Now that Fuddruckers is no longer in Utah, we have to make a stop in Vegas to get our fix!

Though having a baby that still eats every 2 hours during the day DID make the trip a  bit longer.  Like 4-5 hours longer...oy!  But we made it and like I said, he really was a trooper!  It could have been a LOT worse.

We had so much fun.  My whole family was there at the park already when we got there (they also came a day earlier and left a day later than we did), and everyone was super excited to see Vash.  I think Vash was just happy to not be in a car seat!

First item of business was to get the group picture in front of the Mickey flowers.

Second item of business...check out the baby center!  For those of you who don't know, Disneyland has this awesome place called the Baby Center at the end of Main Street right next to the Plaza Inn.  There is also one in California Adventure behind Cars Land next to the Ghirardelli Chocolate place.

You want to go there.

Trust me.

Especially if you are nursing/pumping.  You go in and they have an area partitioned off with nice chairs to nurse.  An area to pump.  High chairs for feeding older babies.  A kitchen to warm bottles and wash stuff and make food.  Nice changing tables.  Even a big sink with a flusher for all you cool cloth diaper users (or for washing clothes in the event of a blow out...not that we know from experience or anything).  Oh and don't forget the toddler potties.  Oh and the baby supplies they sell in case you loose a binky, need a diaper, baby food, etc. Oh, and the nicest employees you ever did meet.

Did I mention it's air conditioned?

Yeah.

So anyhow, if you are going to make a trip to Disneyland, do yourself a favor and don't forget to check it out.  I just dropped by to see what it was all about and they gave me a little tour and run-down of everything.

The first ride we all went on was the Haunted Mansion.  Why?  Because it's long-ish, cool, and the line was short.  Vash didn't seem to mind it at all!  Though looking back I would have picked something that wasn't so dark.  I don't think he could really see much.  Oops.  :)

First Disneyland ride!

Then we went on Pirates.  Still fun.  Didn't mind the hills.  But it was passed feeding time and half way through he started crying.  I felt super bad for the other people in the boat, but oh well.  I was hoping he would just fall asleep, but that didn't happen until we were about to get off.  Figures.

We were lucky enough to find Mickey on our way out of Disneyland!  Vash didn't seem to care one way or the other.  But I think he was eyeing that big nose to see how he could get it in his mouth. :)  Also I was so grateful to find out the nice worker took some candid shots of his first introduction to Mickey.  I had no idea she was taking those!

 

 

 We also got Vash his first Mickey ears.  They are miniature and so funny!  We thought we'd save the legit ones for when they fit him a little better.  He seriously got so many "oohs" and "aaahs" and we walked around. 

Next we headed over to California Adventure for some dinner.


That pretty much sums up our first day.  We left right after dinner since that baby hadn't napped all day!

We stayed at the Del Sol which is literally across the street from the entrance.  And even better than that...it's right next to a Cold Stone.  :)  We decided to try out this carrier (I think Vash was too little when we tried it before and didn't like it much) to see if it was worth taking to the park.  Vash LOVED IT!!  WIN!  And I'm pretty sure Dad loved carrying him even more.

My dad had bought Vash this Star Wars onsie their first day -and even picked up a 1st Vist button so we put that on him the next day.

See!  I swear this kid smiles!  He just gets so distracted by the camera he's always making that serious face!

 

So here is a little video I took of Vash in his carrier.  I turned it sideways part way through, so sorry about that.  :) 

He liked It's a Small World with Grandma and Amy.

 



We also went on Snow White's Scary Adventure and Pinocchio that day.  My friend Sarah and her family were actually at Disneyland too!  We met up and were going to go on Small World together, but as soon as we got there and were about to get in line, Vash started fussing because he was hungry.  :P  Figures.  I wasn't willing to risk having him crying for 15 minutes on the ride so we just headed back to the Baby Center and went on the ride later.  It was fun to at least say hi! 

The next day we all headed out to Huntington Beach.  Love that beach!

 

 

And Vash loved the beach too.  Beach.  Not ocean.  He was all smiles and squeals!  At least until we  introduced him to the ocean.



We wanted to get Vash's toes wet in the ocean, but apparently the tide was dropping or the waves were just small because every time we set him down the water would never quite come up to reach his feet so we kept scooting up. 

 Well, we scooted a little too far and when the next wave came, it was a little stronger than we expected so the water rushed up to his knees.  The poor kid was NOT happy.

As demonstrated in the face below. 

That just set him off and he could not be consoled.  Seriously, he cried like he cries when he gets his shots.  I felt bad, but geez.  A little dramatic if you ask me. :)

We finally just took him back to the car to eat (since it was about that time anyway and I was not about to nurse on the beach).  When we re-emerged he was happy again!

 



 We all went to eat at Ruby's at the end of the pier.  That place was freaking adorable and more importantly delicious!   And even more important than THAT, the walk put my baby to sleep.  So sweet!  He got lots of attention from all the people on the pier. :)

 Since we were all dressed for water, we decided to have Vash try out the pool.  He likes his baths a lot and this pool was actually pretty warm so we were pretty sure he would like it....

 

 

 And he did!

 

 I'm pretty sure he could have floated in there all day.  Well, if he didn't start getting cold anyway.  He looked so relaxed!  The floaty was from my mom and it was perfect for him.  It even had a little canopy, but we didn't need it this time.

The last day at Disney Remy and I finally got to go on a few rides too.  I had been to Disneyland twice while I was pregnant and was itchin' to finally get to ride the new Cars Land racers as well as my all time fave, Indy.

We had a really good time, the boy was good on the way home and we were actually able to shorten the drive home by an hour or so which was nice.  As Remy put it, Disneyland is definitely a different monster with a baby.  But still so fun!

Newborn Pics

So as I had said, the plan was to have a birth photographer there for Vash's birth.  I can't even describe to you how excited I was for that and how much those pictures meant to me...before they were even taken.  Due to a series of unfortunate events, that just didn't happen.

I can't describe my disappointment.

Instead we did a newborn shoot at the house when Vash was just over a week old.  We hired Tracy Layne (tracylaynephotography.com) and she did an awesome job! Here are some of my favorites!

 

 

 

 

 

Happy BIRTHday Vash!

*I would like to say that I have been working on this for weeks!  It's been way harder to find time to type up than I ever expected.  :)

We are SOOOOOO excited our little guy is here!  Here's the story of his arrival (minus everything I've forgotten due to lack of sleep and drugs):

March 25th was his due date.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, I had been progressing on my own in the weeks before he was due, and I was NOT expecting to make it to his due date.  Needless to say I was a little disappointed to have to go to my weekly Dr. appointment on the 25th.

My appointment was at 3:45 that Monday, March 25th.  At that appointment I was dilated to a 4 and my Dr. was planning on stripping my membranes to hopefully jumpstart labor, but because I was group B positive, she couldn't.  :(  We set up to be induced the next week (April 1st) unless of course he came before then.  Before we left I mentioned that even though I could count the "right" number of kicks in an hour, I felt like he was moving less overall.  The Dr. sent us down to Labor & Delivery to be monitored.  After being monitored for a while, the nurse talked with my Dr. and she said that there was enough irregularities in the baby's heart beat that if we wanted to stay and have a baby, we could. 

I said yes, I wanted to stay.

Whoa.

It was weird because part of me knew that once my Dr. told me I should go down and be monitored, I wouldn't be going home.  At the same time, I was surprised when it actually happened.  The nurse gave us a few minutes to talk it over since I was sort of in shock.  I hadn't wanted to be induced, like at all, and in some ways I couldn't figure out why I agreed to that.  I think I didn't fully understand what I had just agreed to (which I know makes no sense), and I was also really anxious to have our baby come.  Luckily it was my Dr. who was on call that night so she would be the one to deliver which made me happy.

So we gathered our stuff and the nurse walked us down the hall to the delivery room.  As I laid down in the bed, the whole thing felt surreal.  I couldn't believe I was really there and when I left, I'd have a baby!

At this point it was after 5pm and I hadn't eaten since lunch, so I was getting a bit hungry.  I had always heard that you aren't allowed to eat once you get to the hospital, so I expected to be STARVING for a long time.  Luckily, we had an AWESOME nurse who said she'd give us some time to get food before she started everything.  SO NICE!

We got some Corner Bakery, ate up, and then she started me on antibiotics for the group B virus.  A bit later came the Pitocin. 

-Seriously though, as I continue, please note the whole night was a complete blur.  I kept looking at the clock every time something happened, but I was so exhausted I can't remember.  I hadn't slept since I went to bed Sunday night, and I didn't sleep more than a few minutes here and there during labor.

I'm pretty sure they broke my water around 10-10:30pm.  I was really surprised at how fast the contractions became extremely painful.  I thought I'd be able to last a bit longer without an epidural, but I knew I was going to have one anyway so there wasn't really a point to being in that much pain for longer than necessary.  However, I was really afraid of the epidural.  I don't know why specifically.  I'm not afraid of needles or anything, but something about it scared the crap out of me so it was hard for me to make the decision to get it.  The nurse put best when she said that when the fear of the next contraction is greater than the epidural, it's time.

And you know, it wasn't that bad.  The most uncomfortable part was the fact that it numbed me up to my neck.  It wasn't super numb, but I felt a little bit like I had just been at the dentist.

After the epidural kicked in, the nurse came back and put in some internal monitors for the baby's heartbeat and contractions.  The resident Dr. had tried putting them in before, but she was having issues and it was REALLY painful.  Though I wonder if it was just the Dr., because the nurse did it in like 2 seconds...

I was definitely more comfortable with the epidural, but I still wasn't able to sleep.  Between the hourly checks and being too interested in watching the monitors, plus who really finds hospital beds comfortable, I just couldn't sleep.  Despite that, MOST of the hours went by fairly quickly.

Now the exciting stuff.

After the Pitocin was started, the baby's heart rated dropped a bit.  So the nurse came in and turned it off, waited a bit, then turned it back on at a lower dosage.  Well, his heart rate still dropped.  Again she turned it off, waited a while, then turned it back on.  The same thing happened.  I think this happened at least one more time.  Our little guy just wasn't having it.  And unfortunately, they had checked me twice and I had only dilated to a 5, MAYBE a 5+ they said.  THAT was really disappointing for me and not what I was expecting at all.

Due to the baby's heart rate issues, they had turned off   the Pitocin, but during each contraction his heart rate would drop.  In looking at his patterns, they thought his cord might be clamped so they were going to add some fluid back in to hopefully let things float around and get out of the way.  This is supposed to be super easy, no big deal.  Well, as soon as the nurse turned on the fluids his heart rate dropped to 60. 

I didn't realize what was happening at the moment.  The nurse stayed so calm and just said she needed me to roll to my left side.  Right about then the resident Dr. and another nurse came rushing in.  I still didn't know that something bad was happening, so I was a little confused.  The Dr. came over and was down talking to me saying things like "we'll need to watch your baby very closely."  "If it doesn't go back up soon, we'll need to monitor you in the OR."  Then she actually did call over to the OR to tell them we would be coming.  That was when I realized whatever was happening was definitely not good and I started worrying.  I mean, I had this room full (at least it felt full) of people who just suddenly appeared.  The nurse actually didn't even have to call anyone in, the drop was so dramatic that the Dr.'s saw it on their monitors and came in on their own.  Then they're telling me they are going to give me a shot in my butt to stop the contractions and that it might make me feel funny.

The only thing funny about it was that I kept waiting to feel the shot and I couldn't figure out why they were waiting so long and then I remembered that I was numb down there.  :)  The shot did make me really shaky kind of like a really bad fever and my teeth were chattering which I did not like.  However I did love the heated blankets they kept bringing out for me.  :)

Luckily my Dr. was at the hospital already for another patient so she came in and sat with me as they were watching the monitors.  I didn't end up needing to go to the OR to be monitored right then which was good.  I don't know how long they were there, but Remy said it was at least 30 minutes.  At this point I think it was around 2:30am.

The baby's rate stabilized so the crowd left.  The nurse thought the baby might be sunny side up so she had me roll as far as possible on my left side and put my leg up in a stirrup.  It wasn't bad, but my arm started getting a little sore from laying on it.  So the next time the nurse came in for my hourly check I asked her if I could roll to the other side.  She said sure thing and started helping me roll over.  Apparently that set off the baby again because I didn't even get all the way over and she made me go back because his heart rate started dropping.

I think I dozed off for a minute, I'm not sure how long because my Dr. came in the room after that and that's when she started talking to me about a C-section.  I was definitely disappointed, but at the same time I knew I just had to do what I had to do.  It wasn't worth waiting it out and potentially forcing an emergency situation.

At this point I think it was around 4-4:30am.  Remy called the parents, and the birth photographer we had lined up to tell them the news.  I know this is weird, but it wasn't until Remy called the photographer that I started getting emotional about the whole thing. Having those very first moments captured was something I was super excited about.  And knowing I would be missing out on it really made me sad.  But that's another story for another time.

The Dr.'s came back in the room, my epidural was beefed up, Remy got dressed for the OR and they whisked me away.  I will say I am so thankful for the anesthesiologist for telling Remy to grab the camera!

The C-Section.
Was horrible.

Now I usually try to see the good side of everything.  I really do.  But I would be lying if I told you it wasn't that bad.  It was.

I was numb up to my neck, my arms were tingling, I felt nauseous (if fact I puked for the first time the whole pregnancy in the OR as they were prepping), I was exhausted, cold, shaking, not to mention the actually surgery being totally uncomfortable. Describing how I felt physically is impossible.

But when I heard his first little cry I just couldn't believe it!  It happened!  He was here!  I totally just cried. It was just amazing.

Vash Russell Smith was born March 26, 5:33am.  7lbs, 20 inches long!

I was surprised at his cone head when I saw these pictures.  I wasn't expecting that he would have one, but I guess he was in the birth canal long enough...by the time I saw him unwrapped it was gone.

When Remy brought him over, he was just beaming.  I mean seriously, get me some sunglasses.  And that little baby's face!  He was so squishy and cute it was so hard not to be able to touch him.

(Do you see what I mean about the beaming?!  His face is totally covered and you can see how happy he is!)

After the delivery the surgery took a little longer than usual due to some extra bleeding.  In fact at one point I was so tired of lying there I asked how much longer and the anesthesiologist was pretty funny.  He said to my Dr. "Yeah can you make it quick, she has somewhere to be."  It was pretty funny, and I realize the timing just depends on a bunch of variables, but boy was I over it.

Thinking back on it I realize that to sum it all up, I just didn't feel present.

Besides feeling like crap from the epidural, being up for 24 hours, etc., they had to give me an extra pain killer in the surgery that made me drowsy.  I was so afraid of falling asleep.  I mean, this was my child's BIRTH for crying out loud.  I wasn't about to sleep through it.

When it was finally over and they moved me back in the bed (which was a totally weird experience in itself), they asked if I wanted to hold him.  Well my freaking arms were numb so I couldn't.  I couldn't for while actually, which also made me sad. 

But with all the disappointment the C-section brought, I was SO happy to have a healthy baby! 

I also absolutely LOVED my stay at the hospital.  All the nurses and CNA's were SO awesome I can't even tell you.  I would absolutely recommend delivering at IMC to everyone!

Vash, we are absolutely obsessed with you and love you SO much!  You are more incredible than I even imagined.